I have a heavy broken heart.
But I keep hearing this: It's gonna be worth it...
I dont understand your ways
Oh but I will give you my song
I'll give you all of my praise
You hold all of my pain
And with it you are pulling me closer
Pulling me into your ways
Around every corner, and up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking
Frantic believing
That the sight of your face
Is all that I'm needing
I will say to you that
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I know there's a reason for all this pain and not because I have the view that I am deserving, but that I will learn and be blessed in the end. I just want the end NOW :) Getting healthy sometimes stings.... A lot.
I had a thought, does it take pain to get to me, to make me grow? I am sure it varies from person to person how to "get to you". If this is true, I wish it wasn't that way for me. But either way, this is just a season. I am branded by Christ, so that's my hope.
There is a line that really stuck with me from small group. It was this: "I was raised in church all of my life, but not raised in Christ." How true....So may I be now...pain and all
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Dusting For Prints....
I LOVE love this blog title which I cannot take credit for. It is one from the gritandglory.com.
Over the course of my life I seem to have a list of things that have "happened" to me and some consequences of actions.
But I know that HE has been and is in each situation. EACH ONE
Sometimes, we may not see it or feel it but He's there
The hurts, failures, and challenges can be so obvious and loud that they overshadow and drown HIM out. So I need to be intentional to dust for the fingerprints.
Honeslty the loss of a marriage, friends, home, and community has been hard. I am a different person. Stronger, independant, possibly more jaded but with hope.
My heart is in the "I'm recovered, ready to love" mode.
I know there is a reason for all this. I am literally excited and butterflies on the inside at what is next. I feel the readiness as I have been waiting on God's choice. I'm seeing HIS fingerprints.
Over the course of my life I seem to have a list of things that have "happened" to me and some consequences of actions.
But I know that HE has been and is in each situation. EACH ONE
Sometimes, we may not see it or feel it but He's there
The hurts, failures, and challenges can be so obvious and loud that they overshadow and drown HIM out. So I need to be intentional to dust for the fingerprints.
Honeslty the loss of a marriage, friends, home, and community has been hard. I am a different person. Stronger, independant, possibly more jaded but with hope.
My heart is in the "I'm recovered, ready to love" mode.
I know there is a reason for all this. I am literally excited and butterflies on the inside at what is next. I feel the readiness as I have been waiting on God's choice. I'm seeing HIS fingerprints.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Make Me Desperate
Jesus made it very clear that he could percieve a person's real need when he was going around healing and teaching. Even when a person asked for a physical healing. When he greeted the man lowered through the roof on a stretcher, he knew the man needed forgiveness more than he needed to be able to walk. (Mark 2:3-5)
Imagine for a moment that you cannot walk. Either from illness or accident. The desperation that would come with that.
I want to focus on this thought: HE NEEDED FORGIVENESS MORE THAN HE NEEDED TO BE ABLE TO WALK
That is a huge thought to me today!! Don't we all!? I know I do. Thank God he does forgive. Give me that desperation!!!
Imagine for a moment that you cannot walk. Either from illness or accident. The desperation that would come with that.
I want to focus on this thought: HE NEEDED FORGIVENESS MORE THAN HE NEEDED TO BE ABLE TO WALK
That is a huge thought to me today!! Don't we all!? I know I do. Thank God he does forgive. Give me that desperation!!!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Thirst
I was thirsty this afternoon and a little tired. I felt I needed a little pick me up. I went to get a Mt. Dew. I was thinking I was thirsty.
The irony of this as I sip on my Mt. Dew, (I know it is not good for me at all) is my devotion for today was about the woman at the well.
She too was thirsty.
He had her mail already read. She knew it. But instead of the finger pointed she may have been accustomed to, he called her out but in a loving mannner, of course. He startled her with his response. She maybe didn't understand what he was saying all together but was open to what "thirst quenching" He was offering.
Here's some of the questions asked,
Imagine Jesus looking at you right now-what does he see? How do you think Jesus feels about you? (ummm, ouch)
What if anything, keeps you from being totally open with God? What could help you be more honest with him?
Put aside any fears you may feel today as you come in prayer to the one who loves you without conditions. Thank God that he sees you through the cleansing power of Christ's blood, fully forgiven.
The irony of this as I sip on my Mt. Dew, (I know it is not good for me at all) is my devotion for today was about the woman at the well.
She too was thirsty.
He had her mail already read. She knew it. But instead of the finger pointed she may have been accustomed to, he called her out but in a loving mannner, of course. He startled her with his response. She maybe didn't understand what he was saying all together but was open to what "thirst quenching" He was offering.
Here's some of the questions asked,
Imagine Jesus looking at you right now-what does he see? How do you think Jesus feels about you? (ummm, ouch)
What if anything, keeps you from being totally open with God? What could help you be more honest with him?
Put aside any fears you may feel today as you come in prayer to the one who loves you without conditions. Thank God that he sees you through the cleansing power of Christ's blood, fully forgiven.
Friday, January 13, 2012
More Sugar Coated Poison Apple
I was revisiting my post from yesterday.
When we look at the scripture that talks about the devil saying "call down your angels, they'll save you." Isn't that kind of what we do? We tend to call out to God in the last possible second. When we are in a hard situation, a trial of some sort.
What I find is intersting is even satan who is allowed access to Heaven, who is fully accustomed to God and his ways....he too took the passage out of context. Or do what he does best and try to twist the scripture so it can seem one way or the other.
It is not like God will always remove or withhold natural consequences of sin or foolish choices. He may at times. I DO NOT want to say that he never curbs some. Honestly, I am not sure how that works. Why He is God and I am not.
But by going back to the scriptures, we reaffirm what GOD says and what he says settles it. We know the Bible can be twisted into half truths and can be used differently than their meaning. However, really look at it and see what God wants us to see there for our time in our life.
God has given us an amazing resource. We should really read it more.
I should really read it more.
When we look at the scripture that talks about the devil saying "call down your angels, they'll save you." Isn't that kind of what we do? We tend to call out to God in the last possible second. When we are in a hard situation, a trial of some sort.
What I find is intersting is even satan who is allowed access to Heaven, who is fully accustomed to God and his ways....he too took the passage out of context. Or do what he does best and try to twist the scripture so it can seem one way or the other.
It is not like God will always remove or withhold natural consequences of sin or foolish choices. He may at times. I DO NOT want to say that he never curbs some. Honestly, I am not sure how that works. Why He is God and I am not.
But by going back to the scriptures, we reaffirm what GOD says and what he says settles it. We know the Bible can be twisted into half truths and can be used differently than their meaning. However, really look at it and see what God wants us to see there for our time in our life.
God has given us an amazing resource. We should really read it more.
I should really read it more.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Sugar Coated Poison Apple
I love the title of that song by MxPx...It is worded perfectly.
I am thinking about temptation today. It is a reoccuring theme with me I think. Possibly due to the fact that I consistently fall to it.
Looking at the text from Luke 4:9-12, proves we do not have to fall...
9)Then the devil took Him to Jerusalem to the highest point of the Temple and said, "If you are the Son of God, jump off!"
10) For the scriptures say, "He will order his agels to protect and guard you, 11)And they willhold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone."
12) Jesus responded, "The scriptures also say, "You must not test the Lord your God."
Wouldn't that have been a dramatic scene, Jesus hurling toward the ground and rescued by a band of angels at what would seem to be at the last second. He chose to resist. We can as well! It's not an impossible feat.
Examine your own pursuits of popularity or relevance. How many celebrities compromise beliefs for fame? Heck, we do the same.
Think about what your temptations are. What do you struggle with? I know what mine all are....sigh.....But there's hope. Promises of the ability to over come. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. And lots and lots of prayer.
I am thinking about temptation today. It is a reoccuring theme with me I think. Possibly due to the fact that I consistently fall to it.
Looking at the text from Luke 4:9-12, proves we do not have to fall...
9)Then the devil took Him to Jerusalem to the highest point of the Temple and said, "If you are the Son of God, jump off!"
10) For the scriptures say, "He will order his agels to protect and guard you, 11)And they willhold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone."
12) Jesus responded, "The scriptures also say, "You must not test the Lord your God."
Wouldn't that have been a dramatic scene, Jesus hurling toward the ground and rescued by a band of angels at what would seem to be at the last second. He chose to resist. We can as well! It's not an impossible feat.
Examine your own pursuits of popularity or relevance. How many celebrities compromise beliefs for fame? Heck, we do the same.
Think about what your temptations are. What do you struggle with? I know what mine all are....sigh.....But there's hope. Promises of the ability to over come. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. And lots and lots of prayer.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
My Bucket List
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all"-Helen Keller
I decided to write a "bucket list" simply for lack of anything much to blog about and to be thinking and day dreaming of grander things. Does anyone else think this way? I wonder.
Here goes....
1. Get some writing published
2. Completely read through the Bible
3. Take my kids to Disney World
4. Go sky diving or bunjee jumping
5. Go to New York City
6. Own a 1969 Camaro
7. Visit Italy
8. Learn to play an instrument
9. Sing in a band (even just once.)
10. Go on a cruise
11. Do some mission work
12. Go on a silent retreat
13. Write a song
14. Visit all family near and far
15. See all 50 states
16. Learn a different language
17. Go to all home St. Louis Cardinal games in one season
18. Take a photography class
19. Volunteer at a children's hospital
20. Be at Times Square for one New Year's Eve
There it is....my list. Thank you for appeasing my current writers block.
I decided to write a "bucket list" simply for lack of anything much to blog about and to be thinking and day dreaming of grander things. Does anyone else think this way? I wonder.
Here goes....
1. Get some writing published
2. Completely read through the Bible
3. Take my kids to Disney World
4. Go sky diving or bunjee jumping
5. Go to New York City
6. Own a 1969 Camaro
7. Visit Italy
8. Learn to play an instrument
9. Sing in a band (even just once.)
10. Go on a cruise
11. Do some mission work
12. Go on a silent retreat
13. Write a song
14. Visit all family near and far
15. See all 50 states
16. Learn a different language
17. Go to all home St. Louis Cardinal games in one season
18. Take a photography class
19. Volunteer at a children's hospital
20. Be at Times Square for one New Year's Eve
There it is....my list. Thank you for appeasing my current writers block.
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